Tag Archives: school

I’m BACK!

After a super duper long hiatus. Oops.

My last post was when exams were about to commence and now the holiday has just flown by, and school has once again started. BOOOOOO.

I’m honestly believing that I’m allergic to school. En route to school at any given day or time, I start sneezing like there’s no tomorrow. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.

The courses I’m taking this semester are pretty interesting though. So I’m kinda enjoying it up till this point.

OH AND I LOST 4.4KG. Like outta no where. I’ve been stuck at that shit weight from way back when, and have been plagued with the big SEVEN ZERO + KG. & it so totally made my day. The only I’ve done different is the X-ing of COKE in my life. Temporarily of course. There’s cocaine in that shit, once you’ve had a taste, you can’t quit. YOU CAN’T. You can only temporarily resist temptation. Lol.

Best part was, it was a complete surprise. A friend of mine was like:”OMG, guess what?!?” Obviously I asked what? & he said he had went weigh himself outta no where for no reason, and he saw that he lost 5kg! HOLYSHIT. So I was like. Hmm. It’s been awhile, let me go weigh myself. VOILA! The feels of excitement and motivation to push through eating clean and working out suddenly got ignited. HAHAHA.

Speaking of working out. Thinking about re-joining EVOLVE.

But anyone familiar knows that it ain’t cheap. So I gotta convince my mom to fork it out whilst I pay her back in installments. Never ask me to give a lump sum. Never gonna happen. But asking me to pay small amounts everyday, sure why not. That’s totally doable. That’s just how it is, or I’m just gonna be splurging on shit online, on vacations and so on. You know, we all have this problem. My mom will be back tomorrow~~

So I’m just kinda working on my pitch. Wish me luck guys. Fingers crossed.

I really hate exercising, in the sense of like jogging & running.. I prefer activity based exercise. If you get what I mean. Like playing a sport. In this case MMA. Also I have a deal with a friend of mine, sparring. 1 on 1. I so very much look forward to it. Haha.

Well. That’s it for now. I’ll be back really really soon. I promise. Most likely to rant or celebrate depending on whether I successfully convince my mom.

CIAO

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Lack of Motivation

All the time.

My exams are impending, in May. From experience I know I will start going nuts and burning midnight oil like one week away from Doomsday.

But why?! I’m human. We’re evolved and smart. We’re supposed to learn from our mistakes isn’t it. But why can’t I saddle up and buckle down. Oh my lord. Here I am whining about it watching television shows and not studying. Live example. Lol.

Sometimes I feel bouts of depression. I’m not saying I’m like suicidal or anything. But sometimes I just ponder over whats life about. We’re on this world to do what exactly? We eat, we shit, we sleep, we study, we work, we retire, we die. I mean honestly if immortality was a thing, then I would get it. Like eventually, you’ll be able to enjoy your life. But for most of us, the 99%, we don’t make it BIG BIG. We make it comfortable, or above average. Usually when we’re starting to get grey on our heads. I mean I don’t know. Like some of us strive so hard, and yet shit happens and we die too, others take the less strenuous route, and shit still happens and we die. What is the purpose? E.g. Frogs are on this Earth to eat flies and such. Plants are for oxygen and stuff. But what are humans for? We take and take and take. What do we give back. To the Earth, and not for our own benefit. I don’t know. Just feels so philosophical. HAHA.

giphy

So I also wonder like. Why should I study so hard for. I’m already through 30% of my lifespan. Then again we don’t live for ourselves. Almost none of us do. We live for others before us. I study because my mom insists that I get a degree. I couldn’t care less to have a degree for myself. I know it’s importance. But I’m just floating. I don’t know what I want in life. I don’t have a passion.. I only want to have a job to support and provide for my mom if possible. I know she works hard to provide for me. She scrimps she saves for the future. But all this is for obligation. But what lies ahead for me.. I don’t know. Will I be stuck in a dead beat job? Miserable? Getting by day by day..

Oh god I hope not. At 24 I thought things should be more figured out by now.

You might say things like. Do what makes you happy. Etc etc. But what makes me happy is pretty generic, just like what makes everyone happy. Like traveling. Wanting to do cool stuffs like dream of being a Youtube Star, a Hollywood A List Actress. You know. Normal stuff.

Make money in a slightly “easier” way, and actually have the time to enjoy it. Of course I’m saying this. Lol. Cause I’ve never acted, or been under the scrutiny of the masses. But who knows right.

Rant over.

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