Monthly Archives: October 2016

Are SPARKS important?


This guy though is slightly younger than I. He’s cute, he actually pays attention, makes really interesting conversation. BUT when we kiss. Where are the butterflies? No freaking idea. I feel like I do have positive feelings towards him though. I won’t say I love him or anything.

Backstory. I’ve had my drunken wild days and teen crazy escapades. No. Wasn’t spreading my legs all over the place. But I’ve kissed a few people. Usually with new people there are some sparks. In the sense it’s new, it’s exciting and obviously there must’ve been some good feels or why the hell would you kiss them right. Other hand if I was too sloshed and randomly was to affectionate with randos, then obviously I was high on alcohol to miss some brain chemical reaction.

So, this is like a new experience right there. I’m not looking for a serious relationship with him or anything. Not right now at least. But I kinda am missing that fluttery vibration that permeates through your body telling your brain that it’s so freakin happy and satisfied. & I do like him, I like his face, his body, his mind.. The list goes on. Plus the fact that he’s like some kind of weird mature on one hand, and a dying breed of guy on the other?

Literally gives no shits if I’m throwing a tantrum. Legit no shits. Super sweet in the treating a girl right department. Kinda. Except when he gives no shits. Lol. Like you could totally insta relationship goals with him. He wants to work out together, attempt to play the piano together, which he’s a complete noob at, among so many other things.

The point I’m trying to make though. Is that he surprises me, in ways I never anticipated. Yes, when he speaks, and pronounces things wrongly.. It really makes me flinch. Grammar Nazi here. Sorry. But after I correct him, we can move on from that disaster. He’s interested in things I’m interested in, namely political issues. Which I find highly attractive. Plus the fact that, where it matters, he’s really mature with how he deals with things. Qualities of a great S.O.

Obviously he’s not perfect, but I think the above paints a pretty picture of what I’m trying to illustrate. He’s pretty darn great. So WHERE ARE THEM SPARKS? I’m not hoping to fall hopelessly in love or anything. But I’m just curious.

Could he be a bad kisser.. Are we just not right for each other? Or am I having a mild mental block because I’m older than him. It’s not a very big gap like ten years or anything. But in your twenties, even a year seems significant. For instance, he hasn’t even gone to army, yet people of my age have already completed theirs. Or driving, same thing. So it feels almost like a really big gap because they’re quite a bit of milestones we experience between those years.

Second thought. Does it even matter if you don’t feel something electric pass through you when you kiss. Doesn’t mean your relationship is screwed right?

We’ll see. Maybe we’ve not hit the sweet spot?

So far it’s just been real quick ones. Like not even a second long. More like goodbye kisses your french friend gives you or something. Quick and on the mouth. Oops. Stereotype.

What do you guys think?

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After a super duper long hiatus. Oops.

My last post was when exams were about to commence and now the holiday has just flown by, and school has once again started. BOOOOOO.

I’m honestly believing that I’m allergic to school. En route to school at any given day or time, I start sneezing like there’s no tomorrow. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.

The courses I’m taking this semester are pretty interesting though. So I’m kinda enjoying it up till this point.

OH AND I LOST 4.4KG. Like outta no where. I’ve been stuck at that shit weight from way back when, and have been plagued with the big SEVEN ZERO + KG. & it so totally made my day. The only I’ve done different is the X-ing of COKE in my life. Temporarily of course. There’s cocaine in that shit, once you’ve had a taste, you can’t quit. YOU CAN’T. You can only temporarily resist temptation. Lol.

Best part was, it was a complete surprise. A friend of mine was like:”OMG, guess what?!?” Obviously I asked what? & he said he had went weigh himself outta no where for no reason, and he saw that he lost 5kg! HOLYSHIT. So I was like. Hmm. It’s been awhile, let me go weigh myself. VOILA! The feels of excitement and motivation to push through eating clean and working out suddenly got ignited. HAHAHA.

Speaking of working out. Thinking about re-joining EVOLVE.

But anyone familiar knows that it ain’t cheap. So I gotta convince my mom to fork it out whilst I pay her back in installments. Never ask me to give a lump sum. Never gonna happen. But asking me to pay small amounts everyday, sure why not. That’s totally doable. That’s just how it is, or I’m just gonna be splurging on shit online, on vacations and so on. You know, we all have this problem. My mom will be back tomorrow~~

So I’m just kinda working on my pitch. Wish me luck guys. Fingers crossed.

I really hate exercising, in the sense of like jogging & running.. I prefer activity based exercise. If you get what I mean. Like playing a sport. In this case MMA. Also I have a deal with a friend of mine, sparring. 1 on 1. I so very much look forward to it. Haha.

Well. That’s it for now. I’ll be back really really soon. I promise. Most likely to rant or celebrate depending on whether I successfully convince my mom.


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